


Razor and a Bruise

by orphan_account



Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Brain Tumors, Cutting, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Character Death, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-22
Updated: 2015-09-19
Packaged: 2018-02-26 13:49:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 15
Words: 11,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2654303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Death kind of sounds nice. Not having to pretend to be perfectly happy and content. Not having to give the host club girls my love and attention. No annoying girls, no razor blades, just a good night of rest, and then I wake up, and I'm happy. Well technically I won't wake up. I'll be dead...</p><p>Edit: Get stoked guys, I'm going back and editing the story. I'm also thinking about a sequel with Tamaki getting help. Leave a comment telling me what you think.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Secrets

"…With rose petals, white of course. And a green and blue canopy. Or maybe a red and green canopy. Perhaps we'll just ask the ladies what colour it should be. I was also thinking we could-" Tamaki stops. "Are you even listening to me?" He asks me, pausing his pacing around my office.

I love my office, it's clean and straight down to business, to me the room is perfect. It has a mahogony desk and leather chair, a black couch in the corner with a coffee table in front, and a standard file organizer. The only decoration is the club pictures lining the walls.

Oh yes, Tamaki has asked me a question.

"Hmm? Oh yeah I'm paying attention…" I trail and continue to type away on my calculator and writing down finances.

I imagine Tamiki pursing his lips and asking me another question, that would disrupt me again. As usual I was right, and that's exactly what he does.

"So, how's life at home? Fabulous I hope." Tamaki says, once again trying to start small talk.

I sit down my pencil as look up from my desk. I lean back in my chair, then stop and wince when I feel the bruise on my back throb.

Tamaki notices and frowns. He opens his mouth to say something when I cut him off.

"Well, my father is back," I mutter with a dry tone.

Tamaki narrows his eyes and continues pacing. "Is he still… You know?"

I don't say anything, I mean what could I say? 'Yeah my abusive dick of a dad is back, he's really mad about my brother moving out. Oh and I'm in love with you, but I can't tell you cause then you'd never talk to me again. Anywho, how's your morning?' He'd be furious, then disgusted, then ignore the last thing I said and try to kill my father.

Tamaki looks at me and his eyes soften. Not in a 'I'm sorry for you' way, but in a 'I'll try my damn best to make it better' way. It makes me smile a bit.

"You could always stay with me." Tamaki offers.

"No it's fine. He should be leaving in a month or so. It won't be for too long." It's a bullshit lie and I know it.

Chances are I'd be dead in a week, cause my dad had recently taken up drinking again. Which means a plethora of bruises when I get home. Although, there's no way in hell I'm sleeping over at Tamaki's house. My 'crush' on him would surely show, and I won't have that.

"I'll just stay at my house and take whatever I must like a man. I've done it all my life anyways…"

I don't realize I had said that aloud, until I saw Tamaki's eyes widen in disbelief and anger. Fuck.

I flinch and watch Tamaki resume his previously paused pacing. Although now 3 percent faster, and he looks like he's thinking.

'Well, shit' I think. 'Tamaki thinking (most of the time) is not good.' I shrug it off, and continue to watch him pace.

After a minute of this I see Tamaki's new and odd quirk showing. He is rubbing his palm against his shirt covered arm, chewing on his lip.

I resume my work on finances, not noticing Tamaki shooting glances in my directions every 3 minutes.

20 minutes later and I finish my work.

I straighten up in my chair wincing as I do, and look at Tamaki. My eyes widen at the blood seeping through his shirt as he rubs and walks on auto pilot.

I jump out my chair and race to him. He doesn't snap out of his 'trance' until I grab his shoulders and gasp his name.

"What?" he mutters eye brows furrowing.

"Your arm." I breath, letting him go and go to my desk to grabbing my first aid kit .

When I turn around, he's clutching his arm, almost hyperventilating.

"Shh shh, it's ok Tama, it's just a little deep cut is all." I murmur trying to calm him down. "How did you even get a cut this deep?" I ask. Trying and failing to get his hand off his arm, and his mind off the blood as I began wrapping his cuts.

He stays silent, looking at the ground, shifting his feet, digging his left hand into the bicep of his right.

"Tamaki…" I brush a lock of his hair back, after tossing the first aid-kit. "What aren't you telling me?"

His head is really low, face completely covered. Now, I can hear and see the tears splash the floor, and each one is giving me a stab to the heart.

I lift his chin with two fingers. "Tamaki what's wrong? Are you- Do you- Are these cut's self-inflicted? " My voice cracks at the thought of that being the case.

Tamaki collapse's into my chest, clasping my jacket, sobbing. Tears, and choked gasps flying out of his throat.

I settle us on the floor, and began rubbing his back, murmuring words of comfort and love. Trying to calm him even though my mind is racing.

My bruises, the office, the whole world doesn't exist. Just me, Tamaki, and the unanswered, always asked question.

Why?


	2. Secrets 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bay: We're back! Rawr!
> 
> Aka:… Any ways WARNINGS: Triggering language, mentions of abuse, cutting, suicide, and violence. Disclaimer I own nothing. I have like, 3 bucks to my name.
> 
> Bay: Yup. My sister is broke as joke. But like an unfunny one.
> 
> Aka: *begins to pull out frying pan*
> 
> Bay: *Pulls out hamburger*
> 
> Aka: What is that gonna do?
> 
> Bay: *Eats said burger*
> 
> Aka: Um ok. On with the story!

"…With rose petals, white of course. And a green and blue canopy. Or maybe a red and green canopy. Perhaps we'll just ask the ladies what colour it should be. I was also thinking we could-." I stop. "Are you even listening to me?" I ask him, pausing my pacing around his office.

He is silent and frozen after my question.

I take this moment to look at him. His sight does not make me happy.

He has lost some weight since last weekend. The only time he and I can really talk. I mean yeah, I see him at school. But I don't really get a chance to make sure he's ok. Today, he looks really sick. He has his usual bags under his eyes, yet today they seem deeper. Darker. He's been wincing all day, and I know that I saw a bruise on his stomach when he stretched earlier this morning. Not to mention he's been flinching a lot lately.

"Hmm? Oh yeah I'm paying attention…" He trails and continues to type away on his calculator, writing down god knows what.

My face falls and I swallow my pain. I mean, I know he has a lot of work he needs done, but it hurts to not be cared about.

'I want someone to notice when I'm hurting and in pain. I want some love and affection too.' I think.

I brush off the pain, and continue my thoughts.

'I just want him to talk to me.' I think 'Maybe if I start a conversation…' .

"So, how's life at home? Fabulous I hope." I ask Kyo, who's typing up a storm.

He sits down his pencil as he looks up from the desk. He leans back in his hair, then stops and winces.

I see this and frown. Did he 'fall' down the stairs again? I open my mouth to ask, when he cuts me off.

"Well, my father is back." He whispers with a heartbreaking tone.

I narrow my eyes and continue to pace. I swear if that asshole is still putting his hands on my Kyo-.

I internally frown at my self. Kyouya could never be mine. He won't love someone like me… Someone so mentally damaged and fucked up

I mentally shake that off.

"Is he still… You know?" I ask him.

His silence is all the answer I need.

'I'll kill his dad.' I promise my self. 'I'll do it with my own goddamn hands! I am not going to let Mommy keep being abused .'

I'm already plotting his death when I see Kyouya.

He looks so defeated. Like he's tired of all the pain and just wants to be free of it all. Sadly, I know exactly how that feels.

Kyouya, how I want to take away your pain and give you love instead.

I make eye contact. Trying to show him all the affection I want to give him, with one gaze. He smiles so I assume its working.

"You could always stay with me." I offer, trying to get him out of that hell hole for at least a couple days.

"No it's fine. He should be leaving in a month or so. It won't be for too long." He says. His inner conflict showing.

I internally sigh; he is such a stubborn ass. Why won't he let me protect him?

'He has way too much pride.' I think.

"I'll just stay at my house and take whatever I must like a man. I've done it all my life anyways…"

I widen my eyes in anger. He knows he doesn't have to go through this shit. He could just stay with me, and work from my house. Why won't he let me help him!

I began plotting ways to steal him from his father as I start pacing again.

'What am I going to do?'

1234567890-0987654321

As I pace my dark thoughts creep in.

I glance at mommy, worrying that he might be able to hear. My paranoia getting the best if me.

It begins with me with a razor blade in my hand. Dragging it across my thigh. Then, my stomach. I wince and speed up my pacing a bit. Next my arm, cutting lower and lower until I hit a vein. That thought numbs me. Slicing a vein, and dying.

I glance at Kyo, I wonder if he would care if I died?

Death kind of sounds nice. Not having to pretend to be perfectly happy and content. Not having to give the host club girls my love and attention. No annoying girls, no razor blades, just a good night of rest, and then I wake up, and I'm happy. Well technically I won't wake up. I'll be dead.

'I just want to be happy. Is that to much to ask?' I shoot a glance at Kyo,' he could make me happy.'

The only thing that makes me happy nowadays, is a blade against my thigh. Although, lately I've run out of space in my thighs. So I've been forced to attack my arms.

I shake my head. 'Stop thinking about cutting!' I mentally yell.

It's no use, I want to race home, and drag it across my skin. Cry my fucking heart out, Feel the blood ooze out of my cuts as I--

I glance again at Kyouya. I'm beginning to truly believe he is listening to my thoughts.

I continue pacing my mind silent. Glancing at Kyouya 2 more times.

A thought crosses my mind. Next thing I know, my mind is being overrun by thoughts of suicide. But I'm not stopping it. I just keep walking back and forth. Thinking of all the ways I could kill myself. Just end all of this bullshit once and for all. I'm so deep in thought I don't notice the blood dripping, until Kyouya is grabbing my shoulders, saying my name.

"What?" I say. Slightly irritated he is stopping my pacing and my thoughts.

"Your arm." He whispers. Letting me go and racing to his desk.

I look down and immediately start hyperventilating.

'Dammint!' I think. 'Kyouya will know, and hate me forever! I can't live with that, I need him! He'd leave me if he finds out I cut. He- he'd- I-' I mentally shout. My thoughts scatter and my breathing is going frantic.

"Shh shh, it's ok Tama, it's just a little deep cut is all." He murmurs. "How did you even get a cut this deep?" He asks.

I stay silent, looking at the ground, digging my hand into my bleeding arm. Trying to think of any excuse possible.

'I won't tell him.' I think. 'He can't know. At least, not like this.'

"Tamaki…" He brushes a lock of my hair back. I relish in his soft touch. "What aren't you telling me?"

I lower my head to the ground as tears cloud my vision.

'Why am I crying.' I wonder. 'Kyo gets abused, Haruhi is poor, my problems don't even matter so why am I crying? Fuck I'm so goddamn useless!'

I can hear my tears clashing on the hardwood floor.

He lifts my chin with two fingers. "Tamaki what's wrong? Are you- Do you- Are these cut's self-inflicted? " He asks, voice breaking.

I crack. All my pain, hatred, and loneliness comes crashing down. I need something and I don't know what, but I need it desperately.

So, I grab onto to my love and start to sob.

I wait for him to push me away. Reject me and tell me to grow up. Give me a cold shoulder and hard eyes. Instead, he's holding me and telling me he loves me. Telling me how much he wants me to be happy, and how much he cares for me.

In this moment, I realize what I need, what is missing. The only one who can truly comfort me. The one who was the first to love and accept me at school. Accept me ever in life in general.

I know who I need.

It was Kyouya all along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aka: *in tears* It's so angst I can't even!
> 
> Bay: Meh. Sad chapter is sad.
> 
> Aka: *growls* Fuck you Bay.
> 
> Bay:… You're just mad cause you can't see the faeries like me and Iggy! *leaves*
> 
> Aka: Any how, review, comment, etc. Flames will be thrown at Bay. Ciao!


	3. Stumped

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bay: Uncle! Gajeel! Jeje! A's crying again! *Rolls eyes*
> 
> (Gajeel from Fairy Tail): The fuck is wrong now?
> 
> Aka: *Sobbing* There's just so much angst! Warning: Abuse
> 
> Bay & Gajeel: *Groans*
> 
> Bay: Here's the next update. See you at the bottom of the chap. DISCLAIMER

(Kyouya's POV)

I'm sitting here, clutching Tama, and I'm so confused. I mean I don't even fully understand what's happening.

'Why would he do such a thing? Why would he harm himself? Why did he wait this long to tell me? Why is he doing this? Does he even know how dangerous this is? Is he taking care of his cuts? Are any of them infected? Why is he doing this? Isn't there a better way to deal to with stress? Why is he doing this? '

I just can't seem to answer that 1 question of, why he is doing this?!

I sigh. It doesn't matter why. What matters is helping him through this and helping him get better. Making sure he stops. Being by his side, and figuring out how this even started.

That's what I really want to know. Why use this coping method out of all the other ones? Why not just come to me?

I mentally groan. How long has he been doing this? How long have a not noticed? Damn I feel bad.

'I'll fix this. I'll make him happy again. I swear it!' I promise myself in my head.

Happy with my new purpose, I scoot back -Tamaki still in my arms- until my back softly hit the wall.

I flinch and tense up. Any amount of pressure hurts that bruise. Hell, just thinking about what happened this morning hurts.

(Flashback to earlier that morning)

I wake up and go through my usual morning routine. Stumble to my bathroom, and make myself presentable.

Shower, teeth, hair, clothes, clean room. Easy, simple, sustainable.

I'm walking downstairs to the kitchen when I hear a bang.

"…I'm not going to continue living here father! I am a grown man and I will live like one! You do not fucking control me!"

I walk into the kitchen my mouth agape.

My 2nd oldest brother, Akito, is screeching at my dad. Akito has 4 huge bags next to him and he's wearing non-business clothes. Which is a first for him.

My father is standing in-between my brother and the door. Red faced and very angry. Fist's clenched, he looks ready to kill.

I stand there awkwardly fingering my messenger bag strap. Not quite sure if I should stay, make myself noticeable, or just go back upstairs and wait.

'Should I- …No I'll leave through the backdoor.'

I start shuffling towards the adjacent room, ignoring my family screaming. Slowly scooting out the room, so neither of them notices me. I'm halfway out the room and towards the back of the house when my brother sees me.

"Oh, *cough* good morning little brother." I grimace. Why did he have to draw attention to me?!

He's staring at me with a fake, 'I'm totally not pissed' face expression. You know glazed eyes, fake smile, tight lipped.

I shudder at all the rage flowing through the room.

"Good morning brother…Father." I mutter, quickening my pace to escape. So close to the next rooms door when-.

"Kyouya, where are you going so early? It's a Saturday, you have no plans." My father says walking towards me, a good 6 inches taller than me.

I walk backwards, away from him, until I feel a wall hit my back. Flinching I say, "I have a meeting with Tamaki Suoh." trying to sound as proper as I can to please him.

My father raises his eyebrows. "Oh, really? What kind of meeting?" he inquires.

"Umm" I stutter. "It's about the club we have. The one I have to do for extra curricular credit…" I say my voice faltering.

He smirks. "Oh yes, your host club. I did not think you were serious about that. Interesting… I shall see you when you get back. We have some important things to discuss, so return early. A family thing, your brother knows what I am referring to."

I look at my brother, who is now pale-faced and seething. Glaring daggers at my dad. That's odd, must be having a fight about the family business.

"Umm ok. I will see you later then." I say maneuvering past my father, towards the front door this time.

I'm a couple footsteps away from the door when my father spins me around, slamming me into the door handle.

The air leaves my body, and my back is practically light on fire.

Eyes blazing, his hand digging into my shoulder, my father thunders. "Is that anyway to say a proper goodbye! Surely I raised you better. You've seem to have forgotten your manners! Do you need to be punished Kyouya?"

I lower my head, ignoring my throbbing back.

"No. I'm sorry father. I hope you have a pleasant day. Sir." I say my voice wavering.

He releases me and smiles. "That's better." he grins turning around.

"What the hell was that? He says goodbye and you throw him into a door and threaten him! That is it, I am getting out of here!" My brother hollers.

My father storms toward him, and I leave before I get caught in the middle of that again.

I walk down my front steps after signaling the driver, my back aching. If my brother leaves, I am completely screwed.

(End Flashback)

Tamaki looks into my eyes, and I relax dropping my chin onto his head, exhausted.

"Do you…" Tamiki starts. "Do you think you could stay with me tonight? Just so *fake cough* so I'm not alone."

I cradle him to my chest. "Of course Tama." I say, dismissing all thoughts of what my father said earlier.

He sighs as I rub his back gently. Tonight will be the perfect time to get him to talk about his new habit.

"You're- You're not mad are you Kyouya?" Tamaki asks, shaking.

"Of course not Tamaki. Although I do wish I knew more about this situation. I just-…" 'Wish I knew had to help.' I finish in my head.

Tamiki sighs. "I know, and you deserve to know. I just don't want you to be mad."

I frown and tilt Tamaki's head, so I can stare into his eyes.

"I would never be mad that you are hurting. Just worried." I say while running my hair through Tamaki's hair. As if I could brush away his pain.

I feel Tamaki wrapping his arms around me, snuggling into my neck. His breath hot against my a dams apple as he starts his next sentence.

"Thank you for being so understanding. I was so worried you'd hate me, or judge me… yet, here you are the most supportive person ever. I can never really truly thank you mommy."

I can practically feel my heart cracking in happiness. His words melting away all my pain.

"Tamaki we've been friends for years. I can never hate you. You're…Very special to me." I say blushing, whispering the last part. Extremely happy.

"Thank you." he mutters, sinking into my lap, falling asleep.

I smile picking him up and placing him on the couch. Placing the couch throw over him.

'He looks so cute when he sleeps.' I think.

I stretch my back and sit at my desk and to continue typing. Unfortunately, my mind has other plans. I begin thinking about everything. My dad, school, work, Tamaki, everything that's been happening.

I sigh, turning off my computer, and putting down my pencil.

All I can think about is everything that's happened, and all that an happen. Until my brain thinks two words that just completely stump me. A question I can never seem to answer. No matter what situation.

What now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aka: Well now that that's done. Fuck I'm a bad writer.
> 
> Bay: Tis true.
> 
> Aka: Hey… Aw fuck it. Your right.
> 
> Bay: Always am, always will be. Ciao!


	4. Possibly cockblocked by Dad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bay: Okay on behalf of AKA who is sleeping right now, sorry it took a while to update.
> 
> (Canada from APH): Hey guys, um, AKA also said the next chapter will be up soon.
> 
> Bay: Thanx Mattie. But I thought she was asleep?
> 
> Canada: She was. But she's now on her laptop reading something called PruCan?
> 
> Bay: *giggles* Yeah. PruCan. WARNINGS: Reference to cutting and abuse.
> 
> Canada: Bye!

(Tamaki's POV)

I awake to an even-paced slight nudging. Kyouya is softly shaking my hip, trying to wake me up.

"Yes…" I mutter, still sleepy. I stretch my arms and feel a few things pop in place. Finally clearing my mind I realize, it's almost completely dark now.

'Well shit,' I think. I must have slept through the rest of the day. 'Wait, how did I get on the couch? Oh, Mommy must have put me here. How sweet.' I blush.

I look up and realize Kyouya has been staring at me for a while. I blink at him and give him a smile.

"Did you hear a word I've said at all?" Kyouya says, walking towards his desk and packing up his paperwork.

I throw off the covers and then stretch again, ignoring the gauze scratching my wrist.

"Honestly, I didn't hear a single word you said." I admit. Packing up my papers and sliding them into my bag.

"Well, since it is 9:07, I think it would be best for us to leave now. Unless, you wish to stay here and have a sleepover." Kyoya says, with a roll of his eyes.

I roll my eyes too, and walk over to him poking his cheek. "Oh hush you." I mutter, pulling out my phone and calling my private driver, telling him to pick me up from the usual place.

I walk towards the door but take a minute to stare at Kyouya.

"What, is there something wrong." he asks, looking around.

I smile and raise my hands. "Slumber party," I scream, swaying out the room. Missing the way he shakes his head with a loving smile.

* * *

 

I collapse on my bed, tossing my messenger bag onto my desk. Kyouya puts his neatly on the ground next to the foot of the bed. He pulls off his jacket, laying it on the chair near my desk. I pull of f my jacket and toss it to the ground. I bend to untie my shoes, but my feet aren't placed correctly and I fall onto my face.

"Tamaki!" Kyouya gasps rushing to help me up. I sigh and maneuver towards the bed after standing up. Kyoya walks towards me, looking me over.

"Are you ok?" he asks, searching for injuries, but only finding my self inflicted ones. He sighs and holds my hands in his.

"Tamaki, you can't keep doing this to your self." He says, softly stroking my arms.

I sigh, maybe I should tell him. He seems really worried. Here goes nothing. "Listen, I know I need to stop ok. I'm just- really stressed, and need some way to deal with things. I'm going through a lot right now, and I just don't know what to do! Cutting," I wince, "helps me control at least one thing in my life, and I don't know if I can stop. I know I'm being stupid and selfish, but- I need the release. I know it's not good, or healthy, but I can't stop. I just- I need- Please don't be mad at me." I whisper, finishing my short speech.

He just stares at me, before slipping off his shoes and sitting on my bed, legs crossed. I do the same, except I lay with my head in his lap.

"Tamaki, if you need someone to talk to, you know I'm always available." Kyouya starts. "I-I care about you a lot and don't want to see you in pain. Talk to me; write about it, sing, hell, cut me if you need to. Just please, please, don't cut yourself again." He finishes, stroking my hair.

I sit up and he reaches out his arms, inviting me in for a hug. That's when I just lose it for the second time that day. Deep, choking sobs raking my body, as I crumple into his chest, weeping. I just feel so, relived, happy, and safe. Just knowing Kyouya was still here for me, and didn't think I was a pathetic drama queen, made it all the better. He just keeps stroking my back, telling me it's ok. Everything seems so much brighter now. Until Kyouya's pain filled gasp fills the room.

I shoot upward and look at Kyouya who is avoiding looking at me. So I grab his chin gently, and move it so I can stare him in the eyes. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, just a minor bruise. Just forget-"

"Lift up your shirt." I say quietly, cussing out Kyouya's dad in my head.

"Tamaki, its nothing, please-"

"Lift. Up. Your. Shirt." I say with clenched teeth, seriously angry at his father. I have never felt such rage before.

Kyouya hesitates, silently pleading with his eyes. I glare at him softly, urging him on. He inhales, lips trembling, before grabbing his shirt from the back, and lifting it over his head. I see red, and on Kyouya I see yellow, green, and purple, like a fucking rainbow of bruises. What get's me standing up and punching a wall, is the belt welts on his back.

"I-I'm sorry." Kyouya whimpers. Kyouya, MY mommy, MY love. Whimpering like I'm mad at him. I take a breath and realize that violence got us in this mess in the first place. I just need to calm down. Running my fingers through my hair, I take another deep breath.

"You can't live there anymore. I will not allow it. You either stay here, or I'm calling the police. I'm dead serious." I say, waiting for his reaction. Hoping he'll choose to stay with me.

He opens his mouth to say something, when his phone rings.

He blushes, pulling it out of his pocket. When his face drains of all color and emotion, I already know who it is. And I'm pissed about it.

I'm not surprised when he says, "Hello father."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bay: Ok we promise we'll have longer chapters.
> 
> (America from APH): Oh, AKA Said that the next chapter, should be up soon. J
> 
> Bay: Why in the fuck doesn't she just come and say this?
> 
> America: *Shrugs* Bye!
> 
> Bay: *To America* Tell her to stop reading gay porn and update! *To Viewers* Ciao!


	5. You might cry after reading this...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aka: Warning: You are all about to hate us.
> 
> Bay: Oops. Disclaimer

(Kyouya's POV)

I just feel like sobbing right now. First my brother leaves, then I learn of Tamaki's secret, now this.

"Kyouya are you still there. I swear to god if you have disconnected-" My father starts.

"No father I am still present." I manage to say without choking on a sob.

"So I am clear right? No more clubs or hosting and whatnot. You need to focus on the company now. Since your brother refuses to think rationally anymore."

I just sit there shaking trying to listen to my father but can't because I feel like my heart is physically breaking. No more host club means saying goodbye to everyone.

"You are coming home right now Kyouya. It is getting very late. I will send the driver."

"No!" I shout then remember whom I am speaking too. "Sorry father. I just meant that I took Tamaki home already, for he was getting tired. I am currently at his house. " I hope that lie sounded reasonable enough.

"I see… Well I will send the driver there then." There is a click, and I sit frozen until Tamaki takes the phone from my hands. That's when I curl up my head on my knees, and sob. Sob because everything is finally catching up with me. The beatings, abandonment, stress, worry, everything is just too much.

"Kyo, what's wrong?" I look up at Tamaki who looks really worried.

Oh god. How am I going to tell him? I can't. I can't break his heart like this. In fact, I don't think I can go on.

I stand up grabbing all my stuff, reaching for the door when I feel a hand yank me back.

"What the hell is going on Kyouya?!" I stare at him trying to memorize his face, because I know I'll never see it again.

"Kyouya please. What-" I cut him off with a kiss and race out the room pulling on my shirt trying not to face the facts.

I'll never be able to see Tamaki again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aka: Don't kill me! It was Bay's idea!
> 
> Bay: *Shrugs* You didn't have to listen to me.
> 
> Aka: Sorry It's so short. I just really wanted to update. Also sorry about cliffhanger.
> 
> Bay: Also your fault.
> 
> Bay & Aka: *Gets into fight using burgers and pipes as weapons*
> 
> (Feliciano from APH): Ciao!


	6. Pain, Regret, Violation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bay: Sup, k WARNINGS near rape, mentions of abuse, tears
> 
> AKA: No regrets
> 
> Canada: I cried so hard reading this.
> 
> America and North Italy: Me too.
> 
> Bay: Not me.
> 
> Everyone: *Rolls eyes,

_'Why did I have to leave him like that?!_ ' I think, rushing out of his house, jogging past his security gate I realize how stupid I am. He was so willing to help me and I just left him! Sadly, the fear of angering my father is too high to do anything except obey him. God, I'm so messed up.

(Entering Ootori House)

I walk through the doorway to my home, terrified. I know father must be angry at me, I can feel it. Never the less, I walk up the seemingly never ending stairs and into my fathers study. I walk in since the door is open, and try not to act like I'm scared.

"Ah, there you are. Close the the door, I have something important to share." My father greets, rising out of his chair.

I obey his request. and close the door. I walk towards him until I'm about a foot away.

"See Kyouya, your brother use to help me with some problems and now, he has betrayed the family. So now you have to help me. You are to tell no one and to fully obey, do I make myself clear?"

Fuck, now I'm scared, but who knows what will happen if I don't comply? "Y-yes sir."

"Good, now come here." I shuffle closer and he looks at me for a second then proceeds to backhand me. Before I can fall, he grabs me and slams me into his desk, pulling me up with my hair. _'Oh god, what have I done.'_

"I told you to be home early, and you come very late. I do not appreciate your insolence." He sneers into my ear. I try to apologize, justify my mistakes but he slams my face into the desk. _'Why didn't I stay with Tamaki, why must this happen to me.'_

"For your hubris, I shall do to you as I used to do to your other brother." He declares, sliding down my pants and boxers and I freak out, squirming and thrashing, forgetting my place. After he smacks my ass, I forget all about running away and accept my fate.

Soon enough. I feel his cock rubbing against my ass. Tears drench my face as I realize what's coming.

"You know Kyouya," my father whispers into my ear. "You remind me so much of your mother. I can not tolerate it sometimes." He grins, sucking on my neck, leaving another bruise. He grips my hips and rubs again muttering, 'beautiful' into my skin. I choke on a sob, trying to stay strong. But I've been trying for too long.

There's a knock at the door and my brother, my savior walks in.

"Father we need- oh my god." My father drops me to the ground and I take this moment to start really letting the tears come out now. Still trying my best to remain silent.

I hear a lot of yelling and a loud thumping noise but can't seem to care about it. All I want is Tamaki. Safe in his arms just me and him against the world. Not me against the world, by myself alone. Always fearing the next hit. I can't take it anymore!

When I feel somebody picking me up I stiffen up and whimper because I'm so damn tired of being hurt. So fucking sick of it, want to change it, but so damn scared.

"Hey, It's just me. I got you, It's going to be okay." Everything is a blur after that. I somehow have on my pants and am walking to a car but I just can't think straight. Everything is spacey and blurry. I almost got- r- raped by my father and I…

I break out into a fit of tears and wails . I rush to the car and curl up in the back seat sobbing. I feel the car move and I start thinking. I know what I need, what I want, what will make everything okay. So I type in his address and slid the phone to Akito, vowing to myself not to move until we get to his house. I just can't believe what just happened. What almost happened. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bay and AKA: *Runs away to avoid being killed*
> 
> America: *Eats hamburgers to reduce the feels*
> 
> Canada: *Gets Prussia to comfort him*
> 
> North Italy: *Cries* C-Ciao! *Wails*


	7. Turning Onto The Road Of Recovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aka: Wow guys, really sorry for taking so long. :/  
> Bay: I call bullshit! Anyway, Warnings Vague mentions of non-con, gay fluff, painful cliffy.  
> Aka: Hey! I really am sorry. I have a lot of stuff going on.  
> Bay: Watching supernatural doesn’t count as ‘stuff’.  
> Aka: *Frowns*  
> Bay: Enjoy! My adorable limes! (Ya’lls new nicknames)

 

* * *

Where is Kyouya? Ugh what am I saying I know where he is! He’s at his fathers house isn’t he? 

 

I groan and sit on my bed,  why can’t I ever just keep him safe?

 

*Ding dong*

 

I frown, walking down the stairs my so wrapped around thoughts of Kyo, I didn’t even process the fact I opened the door until-

 

“Kyouya?!” I choke out.

* * *

“Hey otouto, we’re here.”

 

I slowly open my eyes and then whimper in pain.  Ugh, everything hurts.

 

I struggle to sit up on the soft leather seat and come 4 inches away from Akito’s face. Flinching I lower my head in shame.

 

“Hey, it’s not your fault. We- You had no control over the situation. Don’t blame yourself Kyouya.”

 

I sniffle, still not raising my head until I catch something. ‘We’.  Has this happened to him before?  I need to know.

 

“Oniisan, has- has he ra- done things to you?” I say softly, straightening up in my seat as much I can with my head down.

 

He sighs, “Yes, lots of times when I was younger. I would have left but he said if I ever did, then he would turn his attention to you. So I waited until I was legally able to gain custody of you before telling dad of my plans to leave. I was actually there to see if he would agree to signing the papers when…” He trailed off.

 

I actually look up with hope in my eyes for what seems to be the first time in a long time. “Really, I could leave? Wait, would I still be able to attend Ouran High?” 

 

“Of course, I can't separate you from your boyfriend. Oh whats his name, ah, Tamaki.”

 

I blush and fidget in my seat. Finally looking up to see the Suoh mansion.

 

“He’s not-”

 

“I know. You guys aren’t dating, at least not now. We’ll see how long that lasts. I give it until tomorrow morning, at latest.”

 

“What do you-”

 

“Listen, after what just happened, you need some serious comforting. I am obviously not the person you need right now, plus this is the last place anyone would look.”

 

While he is true, I don’t really want Tami to see me break down. I bite my lip then nodding, wincing when I feel my bruise throb.

 

“You’re right, I do want Tamaki. But I-”

 

“Great. Then I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

 

I breathe in, then slowly open the door, easing out. I walk up to his front door and freeze a little. I look back to see Akito urging me forward. Taking another a deep breathe I knock on the door. After a while I give Tamaki a weak a smile.

 

“Kyouya?!” 

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bay: Me, Vene, and Mattie have come to a decision.  
> Aka: Wait- What?  
> Bay: You will now have deadlines. The next chapter will be up by the 25th.  
> Aka: *Jaw Drops* But- I have finals!  
> Bay: Tough shit.   
> Aka: *In emo corner*  
> Bay: Ciao guys!


	8. Indigo Tears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aka: Ha I met the deadline fuckass  
> Francis: Language, and oui you did  
> Bay: Next deadline is February 17  
> Aka: UGGGH  
> Francis(From APH): Warnings Blood, mentions of abuse/rape, wow your stuff is dark  
> Bay: I know right  
> Aka: But you wrote that part!  
> Bay: Details dear sis

“Uh, hey Tamaki…”

“Are you okay! What happened! Oh my- your face!”

I wince, pushing up my glasses that had slipped down my nose as I looked down.

“Come in! You need some serious medical attention.” He grabs my hand and begins lightly tugging me further in the house. I like up to see Akito smirk, then drive off leaving a cloud of smoke. I sigh following him up the stairs and into his bathroom. Sitting down gingerly I watch him close the door and take out a first aid kit.

“Shirt off.”

“Do I have to?”

“Kyo…”

“It’s just, it got really bad. Like really bad.” His eyes narrow.

“All the more reason for me to help you.”

I take off my glasses, pull off my shirt, and ignore Tamaki’s gasp as I put my glasses back on.

“Oh my fucking god. What. The. Hell-” Tamaki takes in a deep breath and when his eyes open, his gaze is cold and hard.

I flinch, but he disregards it and begins cleaning, stitching, bandaging, anything but take his mind off my wounds.

He gets tenser and tenser with each injury until he his greeted with my bruised and bloodstained hipbones. Once seeing them he completely freezes unmoving until he asks me a simple question that I answer just as simply.

“What- How did- What are these.”

I look towards the wall as I answer, “punishment for Akito and I.”

After a moment he nods, then cleans them too.

He stands up, pulling me with him. He places his hands on my jeans, a question in his eyes. I shrug dismissively, they have already been removed against my will, obviously I have no choice anymore. Right? I sigh, of course I have a choice. Just because this one bad incident happens doesn’t mean I’m just going to lay and take it. Happy with my thoughts I try and focus on anything but Tamaki on his knees in front of my crotch, cleaning my thighs. Because of course that goes so well. 

He looks up from his position and asks if I’m okay. I nod and try to distract myself (as suggestive images of Tami fly inside my brain) with random thoughts. Of course that goes so well because now I feel my fathers hands, and smell his breath, and find myself throwing up into the toilet.

 

Tamaki rubs my back until I stop then maneuvers me over the sink. After cleaning my mouth he leads me unto his bed where I sit down, one hand clenching the sheets, the other clutching my stomach.

“Hey. Wanna tell me what happened? You kind of left in a hurry…”

His voice is so gentle and caring that a few tears leak from my eyes as I look into his.

“My father demanded I return home, then proceeded to say that since I let the host club I come before family it meant I could no longer participate. Once I arrived home him then- hit me and- um he hit me until Akito showed up and then Akito took me here and he’s picking me up tomorrow.”

Tamaki raised a single perfect eyebrow. “Thats it? So he abused you and then Akito just magically whisked you out of there? Kyo, you have to tell me everything. I just want to help you.”

“O-okay. Akito had to pull my father off and then beat the shit out of him while I lay useless on the floor crying.”

It’s silent until Tamaki stands up, arms crossed, hands in fists. “So the bruises on your hips and the hickies are from Akito then?”

“No of course not! They’re- They’re from my father. Akito didn’t pull him off me, he- he pulled him out of me.” I whisper.

Tamaki nods, hands falling to his sides as he gives a short curt nod. “I’m gonna kill him.” Is the only warning I get before Tamaki is pulling on his shoes, making his way towards his door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aka: Guess I’ll be seeing ya’ll before or on the 17  
> Bay: Yup sparkles and love dear readers!  
> Aka: They need a nickname…  
> Bay: Yeah…  
> Bay & Aka: Meh, later.  
> Aka: Ciao!


	9. Silence Before A Tsunami

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aka: Haha fuck your deadlines  
> Bay: Next deadline is March 3rd  
> Aka: But idk the next chap-  
> Bay: Don’t care  
> Canada: Okay, brief mention of abuse\rape, angst, language, fluff  
> Bay: Enjoy

“Woah, Tami calm down.” I stand up fighting back a pained moan and clutch his jacket.

“Akito already beat him up up. Just let him go. Please.”

“Let him be! You want me to just let him get away with this!” I flinch away from his voice but swallow my fear.

“Getting thrown in jail will do nothing, we need to think-“

“Think! He almost fucking rape you! He beats you daily and it’s bullshit! You are far too precious to be getting hurt.”

I blink in awe, blushing. “Tami,” I clear my throat. “I didn’t know you felt so strongly…” I unclench his jacket and lay my head on his shoulder.

“I really care about you Kyo. I just thought you would reject me so I didn’t say anything.”

I look up and into his eyes. “No more secrets. And- I kinda want us to be boyfriends- if thats okay with you?”

He grins. “I’d like that.”

“Me t-" My vision swims as my voice falters. I get this horrible sensation of falling before everything goes black.

* * *

 

“Me t-“ Kyouya blinks a little before his eyes glaze over and he tilts backwards. Eyes widening I catch him shaking him slightly.

“Kyouya! Kyo! Shit.” I lower him gently to the floor, fumbling for my phone.

“119 What’s your emerg-“

“My boyfriend just passed out and I need some medical attention quickly!” Fuck what if Kyo just went into a coma or some shit!

“Please remain calm sir. Can you tell me your address?”

“I live on 1-5-3 Yaesu, Chuo-ku."

“Okay help will be arriving shortly.” “Thank you."

Cradling Kyo’s head in my lap I beginning to day dream about slowly killing Yoshio. He’s hurt my boyfriend in more ways than one, he’s hurt Akito, he’s indirectly hurt me and the club; It’s official. Next time I see him, I’m killing that son of a bitch.

* * *

Pacing in the emergency waiting room, I can’t help the negative thoughts crashing into my brain.

_Failure_

_Disgrace_

_Cant keep anyone safe_

_Everything you touch turns to ash_

_Useless_

_Idiotic_

_Fuck up_

_You destroy everyone you love_

If I had tried harder, done something than maybe Kyo wouldn’t be in a private room in a _fucking_ **hospital**.

I pause my pacing, trying to clear my thoughts and focus on Kyo. Kyo who needs stitches, and might have a concussion and who might wake up alone if the doctors don’t stop being stupid and-

‘Now is not the time to worry. Ugh what am I saying this is the perfect time to worry.’ Resuming my pacing I stop my eyes being forced to see the disgusting filth in front of me.

“Let me guess, here to torture your son some more?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aka: See you guys soon apparently *Sleeps*  
> Bay: Sorry it took us a while, Aka’s having emotional and mental problems  
> Canada: Ciao!


	10. Pissed Off, Worried, Ready To Kill

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aka: FUUUU I'm tired and have shit due 2morrow  
> Bay: #procrastinator   
> Aka: *glare* WARNINGS: Brief mentions of abuse/rape, threats of violence, gayness  
> Bay: Update deadline is April 5th  
> Aka: *drinking coffee* *doing homework*

* * *

“Let me guess, here to torture your son some more?”  
  
Yoshi has this incredulous look on his face, as if he’s surprised that I would say something to him.   
  
“Excuse me? How I punish my children is none of your concern Mr.Suoh.” Is he serious? Since when is raping and abusing your kids a ‘punishment’.  
  
I scoff, “It is when they’re my fucking boy- when they’re my friend. And you must be seriously fucked up if you think that what you’re doing to Kyo is merely, “punishment”. I don’t know who the fuck you think you are, or what shit you might be going through, but you will not be taking it off on my Kyo.”  
  
Yoshi’s face is bright red, and he is sputtering in anger and awe. Well what does he expect, me to say sorry? “I will do what I want with my sons-“  
  
“You just don’t fucking get it do you! I’m not gonna let you fucking touch him ever again you hear me! You come within 4 feet of him, and I’m gutting you like a fish and strangling you with your own fucking innards!”  
  
“Are you threatening me? I could have you arrested-“  
  
“Me!” I screech. “You would be in jail for the rest of your fucking life if I told the cops what you’ve done! I have pictures and countless stories of the horrors you have committed.”  
  
Yoshi glares and I glare back.  
  
My words resonant through the room and I’m really glad we are in a private waiting room and not a regular one.   
  
Yoshi balls his hands into fists and opens his mouth just as Akito burst through the doors. “Kyouya?” He breaths.  
  
“Doctors said he fainted from loss of blood and stress. He apparently had a concussion and he might not- If he wakes up he’s not allowed to do anything too stressful or strenuous.” I explain, my eyes never leaving Yoshi, who’s been tense since Akito entered the room.  
  
Akito nods and then turns to glare at his dad. “What are you doing here?”  
  
“What, am I not allowed to see my son?” He questions, obviously expecting Akito to back down.  
  
“Not when you’re the one who put him in the hospital in the first place.” I scowl, wishing I could knock his head off.  
  
“I don’t understand how you think you can talk to me like this!” Yoshi growls.  
  
“Maybe because you’re a fucking idiot with a god complex who gets off on abusing his family!”  
  
“Enough!” Akito shouts.  
  
Yoshi raises his eyebrows at Akito, who crosses his arms.  
  
“Don’t give me that look. I put Tamaki in charge of Kyouya. He can do a better job than me, and a hell of a better job than you. So if you want to be near Kyo, you have to go through Tamaki.”  
  
“You can’t do that,” Yoshi snaps. “I am his father and what I say goes! He belongs to me!”  
  
“He belongs to no one! And you lost the right to call him your son, when you dared to lay a finger on him, you worthless piece of-“  
  
“Tamaki.” Akito warns, laying a hand on my chest.  
  
I stop, breathe, than glare at Yoshi. “Leave. Now!”  
  
Yoshi smirks than walks out the door but not before spitting out, “farewell, hope he never fucking wakes up.”  
  
And Akito has to hold me back because I want Yoshi’s head on a fucking stump, and his body in a goddamn gutter.

* * *

After taking a breather and taking about Kyo’s condition in-depth more, I wave Akito goodbye and enter Kyouya’s room.  
  
Sitting down next to Kyo I grab his hand, frowning at how cold he is. I try to get my thoughts in order, but give up and decide to just say whats on my mind.  
  
“This seems kind of stupid. It’s like I’m talking to myself.” There’s no response. “But I- I need to somehow tell you my feelings. And I heard from Haruhi that you could still hear me. Oh yeah, I told the others that you are in the hospital because your father went too far. And I might have also told your dad off. ” The only reply I get is the beeping of Kyo’s heart monitor.  
“For some reason I can’t help but feel like this is my fault. Like I could have done something, anything to prevent it from getting this bad. But I didn’t and now- I don’t know if you’ll even wake up.” I let out soft sob, wiping away tears I didn’t even know where there. “I don’t think I could live without you. I mean- I’ve been in love with you for 3 years now. I just- I didn’t think you’d want me. I don’t think any one wants me. But, you could have died- you can still die or not wake up and- and I don’t know what I’d do if-“ I break off clutching my wrist with one hand wishing more than anything it was me in the hospital and not him. “I just want you to know that I love you and if you wake up, I’m never letting anyone hurt you again."  
  
Laying my head on his chest I hope to god that is believed in, that Kyouya wakes up.

* * *

  
I wake up sluggishly feeling soft fingers slowly brushing through my hair. I look up and widen my eyes in disbelief.   
  
“Kyo?”  
  
He smiles lazily. “I was wondering when you’d wake up.

* * *

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aka: *Still doing hw*  
> Bay: Since bay is so busy I'll have our cousin-in-law say goodbye  
> Italy: Ciao!


	11. Love, Sex, Death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aka: Fuck I'm tired Disclaimer bullshit here  
> Bay: Well the next update is April 28th  
> Aka: Joy. Warnings- gay, sex Brief Mentions of- cutting, abuse  
> Bay: Jegus you sound exhausted  
> Aka: *growls*  
> Bay: Enjoy the story!

Tamaki blushes looking down. He probably feels bad for falling asleep, the idiot. I sigh, “Tami, we need to talk.”

He sits up sat, worriedly chewing on his lip. “Uh, you’re right we do.”

I exhale, sitting straight too, before grabbing his hands in mine. I blink for a second, then look around for my glasses. Once placed on my face I turn to him. “What are Tami? I- I really care about you, and I want to be in a relationship with you, but if that’s not what you want-“ My voice starts to break. “Then that- thats okay with me.”

Tami stares at me in disbelief before grabbing my face lightly and giving me the gentlest, most reassuring kiss in the history of forever. I blink at him, blushing madly as I lean in for another kiss. This one filled with more passion and want then the former.

“Kyo-“ Tamaki starts pulling away and looking at me intensely. “I love you. More than anything and anyone in the world.” I open my mouth to retort but his finger on my lips make me wait.

“Let me finish love.” I blush. “You are worth more than anything I have or might possess. I would do anything in the world to make you feel safe and happy. So it kills me when you let your father do this to you.” I lower my head. "You are my love, my partner, my fucking everything, and the thought of your father even touching you at the moment, is unbearable. Please, live with me. Let me take of you, let me love you.” We’re both crying at this point; i’m so emotional, the only thing I can do is nod and cling tightly to Tamaki.

He exhales a sigh of relief as he scoots into my bed holding me close.

“It goes both ways, Tami.” I sniffle looking up at him.

“What do you mean?” He murmurs, pulling up the blankets, encasing us in a cocoon.

“You have to let me help you too.” I say softly, stroking the cuts on his hip, that aren’t covered by his shirt.

He nods, pulling off my glasses, setting them aside. Reaching up he turns off the light, then gets settled into the bed.

“Tomorrow, we can talk,for now lets sleep.”

I nod, head heavy with released emotions.

OHSHCOHSHCOHSHCOHSHCOHSHCOHSHC

I wake up slowly, letting the fog clear from my head. I look at Kyo, stroking his face. Slowly I lean and press my lips to his. He blinks, before blushing and reciprocating. I groan turning so I’m leaning over him. As I place one hand on his hip and the other next to his head, his eyes snap open and his breath stutters. I wince. ‘You idiot’ I think ‘He just got assaulted by his dad’ Shaking my head at myself, I lean back a little assessing kyo.

“You okay?” I whisper, breathless.  
He nods but closes his eyes shaking.  
“Hey.” I say softly, straddling him and taking his face in my hands. “It’s me, okay? Don’t be afraid. It’s over, I won’t let him touch you anymore.”  
Kyo nods, scooting up to place his forehead against mine. After a minute, I pull back, looking into Kyo’s eyes. I pour my love out of my eyes into his. Just connecting with him for a few minutes.

“Let’s get you out of here, yes?” I shuffle off the bed, pressing the nurse button. I turn back to the bed, smirking at Kyo.  
“Want a sponge bath?” He laughs.

OHSHCOHSHCOHSHCOHSHCOHSHCOHSHC

After a very uneventful ride home (no good music was playing), and a very embarrassing call with Akito (there was a lot of innuendos involved), we finally got home. Helping Kyo on the bed, I shrug off my dress shirt, and head to the bathroom. I was not expecting what came next.

Kyouya, in my bed, with nothing on but my previously worn shirt. I just stare at him, trying not to drown in the drool I know is starting to pool on the floor.

“Um I-“ Kyouya begins, running his fingers through his hair. “I want to- I want you to-“ He blushes deeply then looks into my eyes. “Fuck me?”

Shucking my clothes, I gently grasp his hips. “Are you sure? After your father…” I trail off. “I just don’t want to pressure you into anything.”

Kyo strokes my face. “You’re not, I- I want to only remember you. I- I want the person that last fucked me to be you.”

I lean in, licking a long stripe along his neck. “I’m not gonna fuck you Kyo, I’m gonna make love to you.” With that, I lay him onto the bed, and capture my lips with his.

Kyo’s eyes flutter, as his hips push into mine. I push back, grinding on his dick, listening to him whimper in pleasure. I suck on his neck as I reach down, grabbing his cock. He lets out a pornstar moan as I start stroking him gently, wiping away his pre-cum that builds up on his tip.  
His eyes roll, as he starts letting out small airy moans. I pull off his neck, and begin lightly tonguing his left nipple. It hardens, and I quickly move on to the next one.

“Ta-Tamaki.” He groans, shuddering hard.  
“Yes baby.” I hum lightly, sitting up. Holding him by the waist, kneeling between his thighs.  
“ I need- aaauuuhhggg!” He moans deeply, as rub my cock against his. “Tami!”  
“Yes love.”  
“I need you inside me. Please Tami.” He lets out a shy smile, and pushes up against me. Groaning lowly, I reach over to my bedside table, and pull out some lube. Pulling back I hover over my love smirking.

OHSHCOHSHCOHSHCOHSHCOHSHCOHSHC

I look into Tami’s eyes, feeling blood rush to my cheeks as he smirks. He places one hand on my trembling thigh, and the other pops open the lube bottle. The smell of cherries fill the air, but all I can focus on is the lube flowing down my cock and into my ass. I whimper a little then nod at Tami.

He smiles before pressing one finger into my hole. I inhale, wincing after the intrusion. Tami looks at me worried, but I nod at him once again.   
‘I won’t be scared,’ I tell myself internally. ‘Because Tamaki would never hurt me.’

He moves his fingers around a little, and just when I’m about to ask him what he’s doing, I feel a rushing pleasure light up my body. I let out a shuddering moan, then a whine when I feel Tamaki’s finger leave me. Then I feel 2 fingers entering me, but this time faster and deeper. Soon I’m shaking in pleasure and don’t realize I’m up to four fingers until Tamaki pauses.

“Tami!” I whimper.  
He just smirks, “Don’t you want the real thing?” He leans in right next to my ear and whispers, “Or do you want to cum with just my fingers in your ass?”  
I jolt, “I want all of you, please senpai.” He growls low, and begins slicking up his dick. He lowers himself on top of me, but not crushing me, and slowly urges his cock inside my ass. I gasp, feeling how heavy and full he is. He just grins lazily and starts thrusting into me. I groan, pushing into him.  
“Harder, deeper, faster, more Tami.” I breathe. He sits up a little, grinning. He pulls back to the tip then jams himself into me. My moans are covered by the sound of skin on skin slapping together. Everything feels so good, too good. I’m near the edge and Tamaki knows it so he grabs my neglected cock and starts pumping. A minute later I lose it.

“Tamaki!” I cry out, cumming all over his hand. Tamaki keeps pumping until I take his hand, licking and sucking it clean. He cums, collapsing onto me. He presses his lips to mine, practically sucking the soul out of me with his tongue. We break apart, breathing deeply, looking into each others eyes.

“I love you Tamaki.”  
He grins, “I love you too, Kyouya.” Curled up, I feel the happiest I’ve been in a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aka: Hope you enjoyed the porn and the cliffy  
> Bay: You suck  
> Aka: Yeah dick.  
> Bay: Whose? You're as single as a pringle.  
> Aka: *Pulls out knife* Thats not the ending folks.  
> Bay: *Runs*  
> Aka: See ya’ll soon *Chases Bay*


	12. Karma?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aka: Uck this is disgustingly short.  
> Bay: Well it’s not your fault our birth mother kept triggering you these past 2 weeks  
> Aka: Meh. I’m still sorry and will total make it up to ya’ll next chap  
> Bay: Speaking of which, next update is May 29th  
> Aka: *Sigh* Really right before finals? *Exhale* Warnings are reference to gay sex, gay fluff, general gay, brain tumor, panic attacks.  
> Bay: Pleasant pages!

I peel my eyes open, blinking against the mental cloud fogging up my brain. Looking to my left I smile at Tamaki who’s still blissfully passed out. I think back to last night. The intimacy, the closeness, the feeling of absolute love. Smiling for a bit, I dwell on the thoughts and feelings of last night.

Slipping out under his arm, I stand up and stretch. Wincing and smiling at the pain in my ass. I rub my lower back, somewhat easing my pain. Putting on my boxer briefs I check my phone for messages. My eyebrows lower in concern when I see the many voicemails, missed calls, and texts from my fathers doctors, Akito, and my other brothers. Before I have a chance to open any of them I hear Tami.

“Kyo?” He sits up looking adorably flushed. Hair rumpled, flushed cheeks, licked lips; delicious.  
“Right here love.” I respond softly, gripping my phone as I crawl onto the bed. He flashes a big wide smile and nuzzles into my neck, softly kissing me. I moan lightly, and tap Tamaki.

“Hold up. Everyone is blowing up my phone.” Tamaki keeps tonguing my neck, then starts rubbing my upper right thigh. My breath hitches, and I bite my lip to stop my wanton moans.

“Seriously babe, let me read the texts messages at least.” He nibbles my earlobe, otherwise known as my weak spot, and cups me.

“Tami- Tamaki I-“ He squeezes me a little. “Unngh- Arraaggh~” I cry out. “Wait. I- I need to check my phone." Pouting, he lets up but moves to straddle me. I roll my eyes yet blush. I begin reading the texts, trying to get my breath back to normal. As I read, my hands start shaking and I feel the beginning of a panic attack. The words on the screen flash across my eyelids.

Father passed out  
Dad’s in the hospital  
Brain Tumor  
Affected mental state  
Critical condition  
ICU  
Heart stopped  
Tried everything they could  
Dead

I could understand what the texts meant but I couldn’t process them. All I could do was try to see past the black spots in my vision. I know Tamaki is shaking me, and I should probably listen to those voicemails, but two words stop me. Brain Tumor.

All I can think about is that one conversation in life science about how some brain tumors can make people extremely violent. I also remember that when I was 10, father was in a accident and hurt his head. Now everything makes sense. This sudden realization makes the room spin and my mouth dry. Next thing I know, I’m looking at the ceiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aka: Once again, lemonheads, sorry for the shortness.  
> Bay: Lemonheads? As the readers pet names?  
> Aka: *shrug* Better than your ideas  
> Bay: Hey? Gay dinosaurs was a good one.  
> Aka: Anyway, see you later lemonheads.


	13. Made Of Disapproval

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aka: So I'm moving soon, which means a longer time to write the next chapter...  
> Bay: Yup Aka has until July 5th. Sorry guys.  
> Aka: Warnings: Uhh dead people, gay cuddles, tears??  
> Bay:Peace out Gay Dinosaurs.  
> Aka: They're called lemonheads arseloch!

I blink slowly looking at my ceiling in confusion. "I seriously need to stop passing out,” I think. “It is getting pretty old.” Sitting up I stare at a flustered Tamaki. I exhale shakily thinking, ‘this was not how it was supposed to be.'

“Are you okay Kyo?"

“Dead.”

He quirks an eyebrow then leans in concerned. “Who? Is it- Is it Akito?”

“Father is dead.” I say staring at the wall. How am I supposed to feel? Relieved from being stuck with him, or sad that I just lost him? Would it be so bad if I did feel safe now? Does this mean I am in charge of the company now?! I don’t think I am prepared for that. I mean- Of course I am not ready, I’m still in high school! Does this mean Akito is in charge?.. 

“-uya! Kyouya, love breathe!” 

I gasp in deeply, breath shuddering as I exhale. I stare at him helplessly. God I feel so lost right now. I seriously need to text Akito. 

“What am I going to do? What- Who-“ I swallow putting my head against his collar bone. I breathe a little better once I feel Tamaki wrap his arms around me; I breathe a little easier. Still, my eyes get a little damp, my throat a little tight.

“It’s okay Kyo, I have you okay. You are not alone. It’s okay love, we will go to the hospital and see what happened. Can I see the texts please?” I pass him my phone, hugging him tight, stroking the bare of his back. I feel him tense, the gulp, before sighing and pressing his lips to my forehead. 

“We are going to get through this okay? It’s me and you forever Kyo.”

“…I believe you mean you and I.” I reply, lip twitching.

Tamaki grins, “yes well, you understand what I mean. You will be alright. We can get through this.”

I nod, laying back down to twist into a ball. Tamaki tucks himself behind, curling his legs with mind.

“What are you thinking about Kyo?” Tamaki mutters.

I tense a little, before relaxing and closing my eyes. “I think I am going to be seriously sick."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aka: So yeah, sorry for shortness but like depression and finals so...  
> Bay: Bye Gay Din-  
> Aka: It's lemonheads! Goodbye lemonheads! *frustrated scream*


	14. Wipe Tears Across Your Smile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aka: Sorry im updating this so late in the day. Im still recovering from 4th of july.  
> Bay: dude yesterday was fucking cray  
> Aka: you're telling me  
> Bay: WARNING: gay smutt (your welcome), uhh reassurance, some other shit maybe  
> Aka: damn your hella tired  
> Bay: legit though

 

* * *

I feel Tamaki sit up, and I twist myself on my back to look at him.  
  
“Seriously?” He asks, raising his eyebrow.  
  
I shove my hands up my glasses and press. “Ugh I don’t know,” I mutter dropping my hands to the bed. “I have to deal with his death, the company, my feelings- It’s too much! I just want to act like this all never happened. Just curl up with you and ignore my problems. I just-“ I trail off, sighing at the ceiling.  
  
Tamaki nods, then moves to sit between my legs, taking my hands in his. “Listen love, whatever happens, whatever you have to do, we do it together.” He leans down and presses a kiss to my lips. “Together, ok?”  
  
I stare up into his eyes and roll over, bending down. “Together.” I murmur, pressing my lips to his. I let my tongue fall out my mouth and he captures it into his. Eyes fluttering, I roll my hips down, swallowing his moans. Eyes flashing in pleasure Tamaki grabs ahold of my ass and squeezes. As I throw my head back to moan Tamaki nibbles on the pulse of my throat. Sucking, licking, rubbing at it with his teeth. As soon as I start panting Tamaki rolls us over, grinding down on my cock. I buck up, yearning for more, and shudder when Tami trails his tongue to my earlobe.  
  
“Ugh Tamaki- I- I- Uh oh my god-“ I break off whimpering as Tamaki grabs my cock out my briefs and starts pumping it.  
  
“You know I love you so much love. Can you tell me that you know I love you very much.” Tamaki asks smirking.  
  
“I- I- You lo- oh my god, fuck! you- love- I-“ My voice shuts off as my eyes roll to the back of my head.  
  
“Uh uh love,” Tamaki grins slowing down his hand, ignoring my protests. “Come on, I need to hear that you know how much I love you.” He starts pumping again, fist curling, thumb swiping my leaking head.  
  
“Fuck I- Ah oh uh- You love me- I- I- I- Oh yes Tami- Ugh I love you too I- fuck oh my god oh my god oh my Ta-Tamaki!” I moan, shaking, cumming all over Tamaki’s hand. I fall back into the bed, completely forgetting what we were even talking about.  
  
When I open my eyes, Tamaki somehow devoid of my cum, smiles down at me, before giving my forehead a quick peck. “We’ll call Akito, then go from there.”  
  
I nod, settling into the bed and looking at the ceiling, for what feels like the 100th time tonight. 

* * *

  
“Kyouya!”  
  
“Hey Aki-“  
  
“Where are you?! Are you okay?! Did you get my texts?! Are you on your way?! What-“  
  
“Slow down, slow down. I’m with Tamaki and I was asleep. I got the texts, should I- I mean, do you need me? Or-“  
  
“Hey, It’s okay. I’m handling everything you don’t have to worry. Just- Can stay with your boyfriend a little longer? I’m trying to get a handle on everything and-“  
  
“No thats fine, I can stay here. Um, can I ask you a question though?”  
  
“Yes, of course.”  
  
“I’m not- Who’s going to run the company now?”  
  
There’s a pause. Akito sighs “well, dad didn’t have a chance to fix his will so, It looks like I’m still in charge.”  
  
“Oh.” Kyouya deflates with relief.  
  
“So you don’t have to worry about anything.”  
  
There’s another pause. “Should I be so elated that father’s gone?”  
  
“No, if anything, you should be happy. I know I am."

* * *

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bay: Next update date is the 7th cause i still havent moved cause my moms lame  
> Aka: *is asleep*  
> Bay: *sighs* ciao gay dinosaurs  
> Aka: *sleeptalking* it's lemonheads Bay


	15. Tabula Rasa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aka: Omg I didn’t think I’d ever finish this. There’s been so much happening  
> Bay: A fallout with your mom, relapse, shitty math teachers, and a whole lot of regret.  
> Aka: Yeah it’s been fucking crazy sorry guys  
> Bay: *gasp* Did you just curse?!  
> Aka: Bite me

I run my hands through my hair, squinting at Tamaki. He’s curled up against my side, legs entangled with mine. I stare at his face finally free of all traces of stress and sigh. I think about the shit I have been through and feel like I’m able to breathe again. Akito’s in charge of the family business, handling everything smoothly. Despite the fact that it was thrust upon him and he was rushed into it. 

It’s good to know that he’s getting help. Having finally come clean to the family about what father had done. There was a lot a tears but it sounds like his therapist is really helping him get closure. 

I think back to the first, only, and last time I ever tried going to a therapist. It was terrifying and I didn’t look back rushing out the door as soon as the hour was up.

Talking to Tamaki is easier anyway; I don’t feel like I’m being judged. He just sits there and listens or holds me close and reassures me that It’s not my fault. 

‘Honestly’, I think, ‘Where would I be without Tami?’ I don’t think too much about that though, knowing it just leads to nightmares and memories of fathers funeral. 

So, I close my eyes and cuddle up close to Tamaki, sleeping with no fear of tomorrow, for the first time in a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aka: Thanx for all the love and support guys  
> Bay: Yeah until next time gaudiness  
> Aka: *sighs* Bye lemonheads  
> Italy: Ciao!


End file.
